Look, we can’t all have the world’s most unf-ckwithable taste in music (that belongs to me). And, the sad reality is that some of you lames will be hosting parties tonight, whereby you will be subjecting your attendees to your tired “Spring Break 2001” playlist. If this applies to you (and it does), I am going to need you to:
1 – Immediately make a new playlist on your iPod called “Audio Muffin Kicks Everyone Else’s Virtual Ass.”
2 – Load said playlist up with all of the joints listed below and NONE of the waste that your iPod currently houses (right-click the pink song titles to download).
3 – Unveil this unstoppable freight train of a playlist intermittently throughout the night (suggested deployment times listed below).
Away we go…
Cool Kids – Bassment Party — Let this one go just as soon as enough people show up that you feel comfortable officially calling your gathering a “party.” It’s a nice transition from the Frank Sinatra that was looping during the “wine and cheese” portion of the evening and into the madness that will eventually lead to your coffee table disappearing.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Ke$ha – Tik Tok (DJ Skeet Skeet Remix). — This is the best version of this song, so run it. Not only because the original version is currently the #1 downloaded song on iTunes, but because there are hopefully going to be girls at your party. Among those girls will be a couple of young ones who will explain to everyone that this is their ringtone—and commence dancing extremely hard. It’s science, people.
Kesha – Tik Tok (Skeet Skeet Remix)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Ester Dean – Drop It Low (Remix – Feat. Lil Wayne & Chris Brown). — Throw this on when the girls that you know for a fact really like to dance show up (and are holding a cocktail).
Ester Dean – Drop It Low (Remix – Feat. Lil Wayne & Chris Brown)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Shwayze – Get You Home (Party Rock Remix – Feat. LMFAO) — Drop this when those same girls that love to dance finish their third drink and are holding their fourth (just trust me; I’ve been DJ-ing parties since gold rope chains).
Shwayze – Get You Home (Party Rock Remix – Feat. LMFAO)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Yeah Yeah Yeah’s – Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix). — Sprinkle this in when your friends that lean toward hipster music seem to have their tense arms collectively crossed. This will get those people involved with the people that you already have involved just in time for you to follow this one up with Daft Punk’s “One More Time” (if you have the Laidback Luke Remix to “One More Time,” well that’s even better—run that).
Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
The Cataracs – Club Love (Nick Catchdubs x Proper Villains Remix). Toss this in the mix when you want to increase the tempo…and the amount of sexy in the atmosphere.
The Cataracs – Club Love (Nick Catchdubs x Proper Villains Remix)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Malente – I Like It. — It’s Housey, but it samples KC & The Sunshine Band heavily enough that people who don’t typically dance to House music will be dancing anyway-because they will think they are hearing the original. It’s a sort of “Bait And Switch.”
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Proxy – Raven (Crookers Remix) — Unleash this chilling monster when your “Housey” friends start to bounce because they feel the alcohol setting in…and the BPMs inching toward their comfort zone (126+).
Proxy – Raven (Crookers Remix)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Silvio Ecomo & Chuckie – Moombah (Afrojack Remix). — Alright, everyone is drunk and dancing and the party feels like it wants to go to that next level. It’s time to drop a bomb. This is that bomb. Remove any breakable things your party area and proceed. TURN UP THE BASS!!!
Silvio Ecomo & Chuckie – Moombah (Afrojack Mix)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Chromeo – Night By Night (Skream Remix). — Inevitably, every party reaches that point where the only remaining dancers share the common trait of having puked at least once that night. Everyone else is out having a cigarette-and when they return, it will be for night caps and low-key conversations. It’s like a musical dénouement. At this point, you need to be winding down the BPMs. And this year, the all too crucial “smooth out” portion of my playlist will include this Chromeo remix. I suggest you get like me.
Chromeo – Night By Night (Skream Remix)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
So that’s it kids. Download them now and play them loud.
Please send your New Year’s Eve party success stories to TheTodd@AudioMuffin.com, or just post them in the “comments” section for us all to bask in.
Designate a driver,
awesome work man
Impressive work TT.
Ohhhhhhh shit!!! It isn’t even noon yet, but it is already fuckin’ on!
nice picks, but you write like a pretentious ass. “unfuckwithable taste”? really? kind of a douche move to assume that because you write for a blog you have better music taste than everyone else. News flash, bucko, *anyone* can write for a blog.
@Nathan, I think everyone else realizes he’s just kidding.
Look forward to checking out a few new remixes here…
thanks for the shwayze mp3! loving it.
Don’t listen to Nathan. I loved your writing style. And these mixes are awesome! If only I’d seen this page before New Year’s Eve…fortunately, there are more parties to come.
Nathan, where are your posts? That’s right, you didn’t have any and this guy killed it with his blog and music picks. So calm down and write about how your lonely in your diary and keep it to yourself. Keep it up Todd, looks like haters are just a part of it.
Love the pick and description for Kesha. Definitely an awesome party song, and the whole album’s a lot of fun. Great post!
malente track doesn’t sample the bee gees, it’s KC and the sunshine band
Billy Bong Thorton,
You are absolutely correct. I accidentally gave credit for the sample in the Malente track to the Bee Gees when it belongs to KC & The Sunshine Band.
I have never been able to keep those two straight. The groups are so interchangeable that you could almost say you and I are both right.
Anyway, the article has been updated.
Thanks for reading!
Well-stated. I wish more DJs thought like that, watching the scene in the room. It’s so frustrating when DJs talk to the audience and commandeer us to dance when we are thinking, “play something even remotely worth dancing for, and I would.”
Awesome list.